Blended Mc Frogs

43 Baby love!  But you only look 39 and you act 12 so it’s all good!  Love you dumpling butt!

As we were strolling through the Mall in Washington DC, taking in the sites, you would never notice that there aren’t a lot of bathrooms.  Until you need one. 

Joe is a fifteen-year old boy, and when he hears ‘vacation’, he also hears ‘eat a lot, eat junk, keep eating’.  And that’s what Joe did……and then the inevitable happened.  It processed.

As we walked through the grass, taking in the view, Joe announced that bad things were going to happen in his pants.  This child doesn’t need me for much anymore, but suddenly, it was my job to find a bathroom hidden amongst the monuments, and being a mom, I accepted the responsibility.  “MOM!”, he said, “I need a bathroom!  NOW!”

And then a miracle happened!  A port-a-potty emerged between two trees….it was for construction workers and we had to navigate a fence, but it was a bathroom and the pants would be spared the harsh reality of eating like a condemned man.  Joe gratefully disappeared inside….and then David’s phone rang.  No TP.

I don’t as a habit carry a roll of TP on me, and I didn’t see any roadside stands where I could quickly acquire any, so David and I did what any classy citizens would do….we dug through the trash cans.  Unfortunately, we had just experienced a major downfall of torrential rain, and everything was wet or had mustard on it.  But it worked……crisis averted!  And Joe loves mustard anyway…..

She totally kicked ass at the Senior Olympics in Papillion, NE.  The other lady with the too short polyester pants kept knocking the buckets over, the gold clearly went to freakasaurus (also known as my mother).  I knew she was talented and that someday, that talent would be discovered.  I wish I would have bought her little buckets and nerf balls a long time ago….who knew!?!

Okay okay, I got a quote from Mother Teresa on myspace today.  I happen to like her and I love self-analysis and take the higher road and inspirational stuff…so I am here to republish it.  But I would be me if I didn’t editorialize….while I eat cheese….

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.  BUT NEVER TRUST THEM AGAIN, ESPECIALLY IF THEY INSIST YOU SPEND TWO HOURS IN A WAL-MART GAZING UPON THE ENDLESS VARIETY OF MADE-IN-CHINA CRAP.  SCREAM AT THEM AND THROW CHEESE ABOUT TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF….WAIT, IS THAT SELF-CENTERED OF ME?  POOR CHEESE….

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.  BUT OFTEN, I AM SELFISH!  NO, NOT WITH WORLDLY POSSESSIONS - BUT WITH CHEESE.  I ACTUALLY DIDN’T EAT ANYTHING OTHER THAN PLASTIC CHEESE (YOU’D HAVE TO ASK MY BIO MOTHER FOR THE DETAILS) UNTIL I WAS 25 AND ACTUALLY GOT CHEESE AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT.  ALTHOUGH I AM NOT QUITE BRIGHT ENOUGH TO HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES, THAT TAKES REAL TALENT. 

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway.  YES!  I WILL!  I DO!  IT’S LIKE MONOPOLY…IF I’M NOT WINNING, THROW THE BOARD ACROSS THE ROOM!  AND THEN EAT CHEESE.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.  AND THEN TAKE THEM TO SMALL CLAIMS COURT.  IF YOU WIN, YOU CAN BUY LOTS OF CHEESE.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.  HATE AWAY BABY!  I’VE GOT CHEESE.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.  IT’S HARD TO BE NAUGHTY WHEN YOU CAN EAT A GRILLED CHEESE ANYTIME YOU WANT!

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway.  EXCEPT THE REALLY EXPENSIVE CHEESE, THAT’S ALL MINE.  WHOA, SELFISH. 

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and Gold; it was never between you and them anyway.  THEY CAN GET THEIR OWN CHEESE.  I HOPE GOD HAS CRACKERS, BUT IF NOT, I’LL SHARE MINE.  REFER TO STATEMENT NUMBER ONE!

Love and Sunshine, Family!  Yes, I am going to bed now.

TJ

I can’t even believe my eyeballs, but it’s true!  Chipotles is now in West Des Moines!  It’s exactly like what else can go right with my life?!  Other than screaming in the car when I saw it and freaking Joe and David out…..

Now all I need is Melting Pot……

We were so lucky to get to go see Christina McFarling and Tammy compete in the Special Olympics this year!  Chrissy qualified for two events, and won bronze in both of them!  Tammy qualified in the softball and won gold!

We had the best time and can’t wait for next year!  Congrats Chrissy and Tammy!

Today is a BIG DAY!  Boogers is 23, Elly graduates from high school, and it’s Mother’s Day!  I don’t want to anticipate how many more of Booger’s birthdays will fall on Mother’s Day or he’ll get his calculator out, and I know Elly only graduates high school once (YAY!)….but I was watching a show yesterday while I tried not to think about how steroids are wreaking havoc in my tummy….it was about how chicken is processed and it made me think of how much I like chicken wings.  I think anyway….

Times were hard once.  I was a single mom, working all the time, going to school at night….money was tight.  Boogers got to watch me do homework and work so much and so hard at my job, reaching for that next step up, next pay raise.  My brother says things fall into my lap, like promotions….I like to think I scout them out and do what I have to do to get them.  But anyway, Boogers is probably the only kid I have that was old enough to know we were POOR.  My other baby boys were oblivious, get them a sucker and life is perfect.  And Boogers knew I did without, hell, he knew he did without. 

But I did what any  mother would do….feed the boys first, take what’s leftover.  So I ate the chicken wings.  Now I love them.  Oh, at first I had to convince Boogers that I really really loved them, he could tell when I was full of crap, which I thinked warped my own mind into believing that I really really love them.  Now, I can’t eat chicken without reaching for the wing first.  Old throw back to making sure the boys had enough first.  Now I could buy three chickens if I wanted and never eat the wings, but I love them the best of all. 

And what do I have to show for it?  Have you seen my boys!!!???  I have been truly blessed….I love you guys!

And as I recall, I was doing something really important on May 11, 1985!  I was always looking to see when The Boog’s birthday would be on Mother’s Day, and this year it is!  Only every 12 years - that’s so weird!

“The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best.”  Hamilton Wright Mabie

David and I have worked hard our in our adult lives, to provide for our families and make sure they had what they needed, often at huge sacrifice to ourselves.  We put unbelieveable amounts of time into our careers and education, and at age 42, we are ready! 

David had a Mustang in the Army, while my history with Mustangs is a bit…ahem….shall we call it unconventional?  David built his own, I stole my own!  The neighbor (a minister, of course!) made the mistake of leaving the keys to his Mustang with my family in Golden while he went on vacation.  DUH!  I totally took it.  I will never forget that couple of hours of cruising around the foothills on a spring morning. 

Naturally, we want a ‘65.  We were both born in 1965, a week apart from each other at the same time in the morning ~ there’s got to be something to that soulmate thing!  Unfortunately, we don’t have $35,000 hanging around (check back with us in five years!) but we do have the means and ability to get a newer one.   My baby is so cute checking cars.com and the auto trader…he has given up so much over the years for so many, it is time he have something for himself, for us.   

My baby is going to look amazing in that pony! 

Of course!  Isn’t that what boys do?  Joe is a very lucky 15 year old…he has a car.  BUT, boy cannot drive the car alone until he has his school and work permit or he turns 16 or I loosen the restraints.  David and I explained fully to him that we are financially responsible for him until he is 18 and we don’t feel like working 10 years to pay for any his mistakes, so NO DRIVING WITHOUT US until he is legal.  Yes, boy is trained in the english language and nodded his head…yeah, he got it. 

The next day….yes, the very next day, Joe played Rico Suave….the words that actually came out of his half-man, half-boy mouth were “Gosh Mom, I WANT to walk to school this morning”.  This from the child that cringes at walking down the stairs to bring dishes down. 

Ahhh….I thought…what a healthy child.  NO, that’s not what I thought…I thought “what is boy up to now”? 

Remember, there is a car that he thinks belongs to him in the driveway.  So….I pull out of the driveway, drive around the block, and wait for boy to be dumb.  He did not disappoint.  As I was on the phone with David, boy strutted out to his car, casually tossed his backpack in the car, got in car - fastened his seat belt, I’m so proud - and started that freakin’ car.  

I waited….I haven’t been through two other teenage boys and cars for nothing - until he put the car in reverse.  “I’m going in!” I told David….and I pulled in right behind Joe.  YES!  I won!!!

Joe sat behind the wheel of his car for a couple of minutes, hands on the wheel, looking ahead.  He knew.  BUSTED! 

I am saving a lot of money in gas this month driving Joe’s car.